Virtually anyone can be a Democrat.  Just simply quit thinking and vote accordingly.  But if you want to be a GOOD Democrat, there are some prerequisites.  Consider the list of liberal commandments below to see how you rate:

National Seal of the Demoncratic Party

    1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
    2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can’t teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
    3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Islamofascists.
    4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
    5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth’s climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.
    6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.
    7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.
    8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
    9. You have to believe that hunters don’t care about nature, but loony activists from Seattle do.
    10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
    11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.
    12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
    13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
    14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.
    15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren’t.
    16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady as well as a lady with high-moral regard.
    17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn’t worked anywhere it’s been tried, is because the right people haven’t been in charge.
    18. You have to believe Republicans telling the truth belong in jail, but a scandalous sex offender belongs in the White House.
    19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
    20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.

      EXTRAS: 
      21. You have to believe that the government is much more capable to manage and spend your money than you ever will be.
      22. You have to believe that oil companies are evil for turning a profit, but George Soros is a patriotic philanthropist with the country’s best interests in mind.
      23. You have to believe that the “Green Party” is a viable alternative to vote for because they make sense.
      24. You have to believe that Islamofascists who strap bombs to their children and send them into crowded market places are really just provoked by America and therefore not at fault for their actions.
      25. You have to believe that Al Gore really won the election in 2000 and that the re-re-re-re-re-count would have proved this if only they were allowed to re-count the votes just ONE MORE TIME!

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