Modern Laudations and Remonstrance

“It is great to be able to give, but sometimes it is greater to be able to recieve”
-Herr Fischer-Laudenbach, Munich Germany

“My philosophy, in essence, is the concept of man as a heroic being, with his own happiness as the moral purpose of his life, with productive achievement as his noblest activity, and reason as his only absolute.”
-Ayn Rand

“We see the world as we are and not as it is.”
-Dr. Stephen Covey

“If you work hard you’ll be happy and if you don’t then you’ll go to hell!”
-Brigham Young

“We have turned into a society possessed with the quality of life at the expense of the sanctity of life.”
-Indianapolis Star

“Pray as if all depended on God and work as if all depended upon you.”
-Brigham Young

“We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have in order to impress people we don’t really care about.”
-Chris Andrews, BYU

“Well taught doctrines and principles have a more powerful influence on behavior than rules.”
-Dallin H. Oaks

“We need to learn how to separate need from greed.”
-Thomas S. Monson

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, either way…you’re right!”
-Henry Ford

“We must not allow our yearnings to exceed our earnings.”
-Thomas S. Monson

“Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered with failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much or suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory or defeat.”
-Theodore Roosevelt

“I hate women because they always know where things are.”
-James Thurber (1894 – 1961)

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”
-Edmund Burke

“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”
-George Bernard Shaw (1856 – 1950)

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”
-Sun Tzu

“Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door.”
-Dr. Laura Schlessinger

“The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word ‘crisis.’ One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger – but recognize the opportunity.”
-Richard M. Nixon

“Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation for ’tis better to be alone than in bad company.”
-George Washington

“Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.”
-George Washington

“Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.”
-George Washington

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”
-Abrahm Lincoln

“The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit”
– W.Somerset Maugham

“Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.”
– Albert Einstein

“Those are my principals, if you don’t lke them…I have others”
– Groucho Marx

“The noblest work of God? Man. Who found out? Man.”
– Mark Twain

“The only people that a bank will loan money to is the very people who don’t need it.”
-Mark Twain

“If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you”
-Steven Wright

“It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats”
– Steven Wright

“Men never do evil so cheerfully and so completely as when they do so from religious conviction.”
-Blaise Pascal

“I don’t know, I don’t care and it doesn’t make any difference”
– Jack Kerouac on apathy

“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read”
– Groucho Marx

“The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead, his eyes are closed.”
-A. Einstein

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong”
-Mahatma Gandhi

“Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence.”
– A. Einstein

“Soldiers, Sailors and Airmen of the Allied Expeditionary Force:

You are about to embark upon the Great Crusade, toward which we have striven these many months.
The eyes of the world are upon you.
Good luck! And let us all beseech the blessing of Almighty God upon this great undertaking.”
-Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower
Supreme Allied Commander
D-Day minus one

“You can’t build a reputation on what you’re going to do.”
-Henry Ford

“An ounce of hypocracy is worth a pound of ambition.”
-Michael Korda

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.”
-Buddha

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
-Eleanor Roosevelt

“In order to be walked on, you have to be lying down.”
-Brian Weir

“Education is the power to think clearly, the power to act well in the world’s work, and the power to appreciate life.”
-Brigham Young

“Golf is a good walk spoiled.”
-Mark Twain

“If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there is a man on base.”
– Dave Barry

“It’s d`ej`a vu all over again!”
“Slump? I ain’t in no slump… I just ain’t hitting.”
“Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken.”
“It ain’t over ’till it’s over.”
-Yogi Berra

“When I was a small boy growing up in Kansas, a friend of mine and I went fishing and as we sat there in the warmth of a summer afternoon on a riverbank we talked about what we wanted to do when we grew up. I told him that I wanted to be a real major-league baseball player, a genuine professional like Honus Wagner. My friend said that he’d like to be President of the United States. Neither of us got our wish.”
-Dwight D. Eisenhower

“My motto was always to keep swinging. Whether I was in a slump or feeling badly or having trouble off the field, the only thing to do was keep swinging.”
-Hank Aaron

“If they can make penicillin out of mouldy bread, they can sure make something out of you.”
-Muhammed Ali

“Champions aren’t made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them: A desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have last-minute stamina, they have to be a little faster, they have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill.”
-Muhammed Ali

“Winning is not a sometime thing; it’s an all time thing. You don’t win once in a while, you don’t do things right once in a while, you do them right all the time. Winning is habit. Unfortunately, so is losing.”
-Vince Lombardi

“I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.”
-Thomas Jefferson

“People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.”
-Kierkegaard

“We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave, to every living heart and hearth-stone, all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.”
-Abraham Lincoln

PREPARE YOURSELF FOR SOME EXTRAORDINARY QUOTES FROM THE IRAQI INFORMATION MINISTER, SAEED AL-SAHAF:

“I NOW INFORM YOU THAT YOU ARE TOO FAR FROM REALITY.”

“The authority of the civil defense … issued a warning to the civilian population not to pick up any of those pencils because they are booby traps,” he said, adding that the British and American forces were “immoral mercenaries” and “war criminals” for such behavior. “I am not talking about the American people and the British people,” he said. “I am talking about those mercenaries. … They have started throwing those pencils, but they are not pencils, they are booby traps to kill the children.”

“They are sick in their minds. They say they brought 65 tanks into center of city. I say to you this talk is not true. This is part of their sick mind.”

“What they say about a breakthrough [in Najaf] is completely an illusion. They are sending their warplanes to fly very low in order to have vibrations on these sacred places . . . they are trying to crack the buildings by flying low over them.”

“Yesterday, we slaughtered them and we will continue to slaughter them.”

“The forces of American colonialism began to drop containers that produce a sound explosion, a very huge sound. I remind you that they said that their strategy is based on shock and awe. Those failed ones manufactured a type of container that has an explosive substance, which they drop. They cause a very huge explosion in terms of sound, as if the universe was shaken. After a while, you go out and you don’t find anything. You find some nails, screws, pieces of metal, but the important thing here is the sound. Those failed ones think that through the huge sound explosion, people would be shocked and consequently would collapse and be defeated. What happened? The contrary. The fighters…, the masses…, and the heroic sons of the Iraqi tribes discovered this game. They will turn it against the American louts so as to shock them. Wait for surprises, God willing, to see how the US game will fail.”